Spectacles

Today, my sewing life has coincided with real life -  in the form of spectacles.

Spectacle embroidery WIP (inspired by latest Mollie Makes)

I went into town first thing this morning to collect my new specs. This made me happy on two counts - walking into town (pushing Charlotte in her pram) under my own steam, and, the specs were free. My loved ones have been wonderful to me during the back recovery period, and have saved my bacon by turning up day in day out and lifting Charlotte on my behalf while I couldn't. But it feels lovely to be independent again, and a relief to be pain free, too. And so, whilst the weather today has been a bit Jekyll and Hyde, and it was raining whilst I walked, who cares. I am on the mend, and I have nice new specs that have not dented my pocket (thanks to generous deal at Specsavers for contact lens customers). Hop, skip and a jump!

Charlotte did not earn her Perfect Baby badge today whilst we were out - she was awake when I decided to grab a tea (okay and a totally unnecessary chocolate twisty pastry to eat with it) before heading home. Gone is the convenient sleeping newborn for such occasions - hello wriggly baby with a newly acquired loud voice and lightening fast grabbing skills to go with it. That will be a paper cup for my tea please, then, so I can leave everyone in peace and drink the rest on the way home...

Never underestimate the pleasure of a cold can of Diet Coke (enjoyed in peace)

All was soon forgiven. She does have the cutest smile, after all. And (more importantly) fell asleep in time for me to enjoy a bit of time to myself before collecting her big sister from pre school.

And look what I am doing - plans afoot for making the front room all nice and homely. A pile of newly washed fabric that will become a sofa blanket (am hoping this will go down well with the man of the house who likes to keep heating bills as low as possible), with (hopefully) enough for Something Even More Exciting as well. And, some almost finished embroidery. Or, rather, bespoke one of a kind art for the wall above the sofa. Sounds much trendier to say the latter - a lot less like a little old lady's pursuit, I think. For, although I have resisted taking a Selfie of me wearing my new specs, they make me look and feel about ten years younger. Hurrah for spectacles that are miracle working (and free).

The littlest big girl's first sewing picture (ice cream) in a frame, ready to join the rest of the picture collection about to go up on the wall above the sofa

One final thing that made me happy today - after nervously holding off committing to anything until reaching the 6 week post surgery milestone, I published dates for restarting my courses yesterday. And some are already full - yippee! I cannot wait to get started on some lovely new projects with the people who come along to join me for some sewing.

Depending on the kindness of others #2

With a husband who works long hours, three girls and a baby whose mummy is under strict instructions not to lift her for the first six weeks after back surgery to look after, this week has seen a steady stream of visitors to the house. The total of different mummy helpers at the end of day four stands at ten. They have all been super stars and - with only one exception - Charlotte has rewarded them with plenty of cute smiles in return for their cuddles. I have felt thoroughly spoilt and looked after, as each and every one of the mummies has plied me with tea and cake. Oh, and the washing up fairies appear to have moved in, too, as every time I go to the kitchen the dishes have been done. Thank goodness for the washing up fairies.

This act alone is wonderful every time it happens, since, as I have learned to my cost, standing at the sink really wears me out and makes my back hurt for hours afterwards at the moment. At the start of the week, feeling frustrated and sorry for myself at how little I could do post surgery, I desperately wanted to wash up the previous night's dishes before anyone turned up at the house to help me that day. What on earth will they think of me, still having dirty dinner plates and saucepans out, I thought.

Lesson #1 of the week is that good friends really don't care if there is washing up in the kitchen. If they are there to help you out after a back operation, they are really happy to do it for you if it means you will go and lie down on the sofa with the cup of tea they have just made for you.

Lesson #2 of the week is that it is pretty much impossible to feel sorry for yourself when people are kind to you. Be kind to everyone you meet is now my new mantra.

Rather than going through every detail of the week in real time, I will pick out just a few highlights, and have an ongoing Mums' Oscars Ceremony in these posts.

The first Oscar is for Best Facial Expression, and it goes to my friend Jo. She arrived at the house at 8 am on Tuesday morning, to help me out in the breakfast slot between the hubby leaving for work and the girls going to school. Perfect Contented Baby, spotting a new face on the scene sporting clean looking clothes (unlike her own mother, who had yet to shower or brush her teeth that day) picked her moment to swap roles with Screeching Crying Baby. Jo picked her up and cuddled her. Charlotte was sick all over the poor woman. She looked horrified. She isn't normally sick like that, I said, trying to suppress my laughter as Jo carried on cuddling her. Charlotte continued to cry relentlessly for the next thirty minutes.

The next Oscar is for Best Prop, and goes to my friend Sarah. As we met at antenatal, she is my oldest mummy mate, and, as such, knows pretty much most of the dirt on me. And, even more now in the literal sense, since, she arrived at the house to help and announced she had her rubber gloves with her. Having your friend clean all three of your toilets is an amazing and embarrassing experience in equal measures. Arriving at the house with props is something Sarah does well, by the way. Shortly after we moved into our new house, her moving in gift was to come with her Wellington boots and a load of young vegetable plants from her allotment. I have never seen her happier than digging a runner bean trench into the garden for me and I (in my then heavily pregnant state) sat and handed her tea and cake. But offering to clean my loo is something else. They were pink rubber gloves, by the way.

The final Oscar for today is Best Supporting Actor, and goes to a little boy called Toby. He came to the house this morning with his bread sticks and toys (and mummy), and appears to have won the heart of the littlest big girl by sharing and being good fun. After all the excitement of the Christmas holidays, and her big sisters back at school, she has had a frustratingly dull week waiting for our pre school to start up again. Plenty of friends popping round help out with the baby, has been nice company for me, but has been annoying for her as she has had to share me and repeatedly be reminded not to interrupt.

Depending on the kindness of others

Just over a week on from back surgery, I am getting through each day by depending on the kindness of others. I am going to write about the recovery experience, largely as a record for myself of how blooming lucky I am to have decent people around me. I think it highlights a more general point though which is that the vast majority of human beings are kind and compassionate. Typing this as I am with the evening news on in the background, I think it is something worth remembering. So, excuse the distinct lack of photos and crafty talk - this is going to be all about how something that could have been a major pain in the rear (quite literally) turned out happily after all.

The surgeon spoke to me shortly after the op and explained that he had cut a hole in the vertebrae, removed the large disc that had slipped out of place and been causing me so much pain, and hooked the nerves back into the right place (is it just me, or does that last bit sounds a bit like crochet?). Returning home the same day, all I had to show for a morning of surgery was a small sticking plaster and some pen marks on my back. Remarkable. 

Because the nerves are no longer being squished, the sensation that my leg is about to explode and my toes have had all circulation cut off has gone. Having already said before how the pain was on a scale to child birth, it doesn't take a genius to work out how truly brilliant the surgery is in my eyes. That surgeon has certainly made it onto my (super special deserves a home made) Christmas card list.

Now, it is a slow and patient road to recovery while the back repairs itself - but I am already feeling stronger than a week ago. The biggest challenge is the enormous logistical implication of following the strict instructions not to lift baby Charlotte for six weeks.

Thanks to the fortunate timing of the operation happening half way through the school holidays, most of week one of recovery happened with the hubby around. He basically had to be me and do all the things I normally do - and I had to keep my mouth shut and resist the temptation to dispense endless `advice' from the sofa. I had promised myself at the start of the process to let go and let him get on with it, and be a gracious patient. I think he must have done the something similar from his end, as he completely stepped up and did everything that needed to be done without being asked or any hint of being put out. Letting go of everything, giving up the role of nagging, snappy wife who thinks she is best at everything resulted in a very happy household! Maybe the back operation has helped in multiple ways. 

With the start of term, this week the theme has switched from self control over not interfering when your other half does things differently, to over coming the embarrassment of asking for and accepting help from friends. You just have to be non-British about it and go ahead and ask people to help you, was the advice from a (wise American) friend.

As the reality of not being able to lift my own baby started to sink in, along came a sense of panic about how on earth I was going to manage once the hubby returned to work. I didn't want to put pressure on him and flap and panic about it, as he knew exactly what was involved, having been doing to role for me and was already committed to being around as much as possible. So, time for a role change for me - of shifting my mindset from being super woman who is able to help other people out, to actually being on the receiving of favours from friends. And lots of them.